Sizing Up Promiscuity

Think about it: We only have "male enhancement" products because we have promiscuity. If everyone were abstinent or faithful, no one would care about "size."

Jesus and Obama

A good joke I heard today:

Question: What's the difference between Jesus and Barack Obama?

Answer: Jesus knows how to put together a cabinet.

Rules for Living

No. 83: Don't date someone who starts his Pinto with a screwdriver.

Patience

There's a reason patience is a virtue.

Afghanistan

Barack Obama is making the war in Afghanistan a priority. Good for him. America will support him in this, as I do. But I have two questions: (1) Would this focus be possible without the undeniable progress George W. Bush achieved in Iraq? (2) Will Democrats and the media call it a quagmire if things don't go well?

Curious Tagline

Suggested tagline for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: "You're not getting any older, you know."

Picard

I should have known that "The Next Generation" wouldn't be as good as the original "Star Trek." The first time I saw Captain Picard, I thought he was the alien.

Insensitive Stupidity

In an incredible display of stupidity and insensitivity, last week President Barack Obama likened his poor bowling prowess to the Special Olympics. While he quickly apologized after discovering how offensive his little joke was, people like me-people with disabilities-are left to wonder how much the remark reveals of our pro-choicce president's real attitude toward human life.

Apparently some of us are worth so little that we are fair game for snide comments on national television. Here's a wonderful response from my colleague, Tim Morgan.

Kid Choir

Want to quiet down a roomful of kids? Put them in a choir.

Angry Question

If you don't believe in God, why are you so angry at him?

Kid Wisdom

If someone says you are his "backup friend," he is no friend.

Governing

After lambasting the Bush administration for its treatment of terror detainees at Gitmo, Barack Obama is basically continuing the Bush policy. After warning of an economic "catastrophe," Obama is reassuring us that the economic fundamentals are sound. What gives? Perhaps our new president is learning that there really is a difference between campaigning and governing.

Double D

Dinesh D'Souza is one of those people who are so intelligent that I am not jealous (there's no competition). If you are looking for a brilliant, understandable defense of the Christian faith, read What's So Great About Christianity.

Willis

The Sears Tower in Chicago is no more. The world's tallest building is going to be named for its largest tenant, the Willis insurance company. From now on, it will go by the name, the Willis Tower.

"Whatchoo talkin''bout, Willis?"

Unbalanced

The economy just shed another 654,000 jobs. This probably isn't the time to have that conversation about work-life balance with your boss.

Grading Obama's Education Plan

President Obama's latest initiative, education reform-specifically, merit pay and early childhood education-has some merit. The teachers unions need to get behind the old-fashioned idea of pay for performance. The second part, early childhood ed, seems more like a liberal shibboleth. But it probably can't hurt too much, and might even help at the margins, if it doesn't become yet another welfare state bureaucracy. Now Obama needs to take the next step and support vouchers so that kids in failing schools can have the same kinds of quality options that his own daughters have.

Priorities

In removing the previous administration's moderate funding restrictions on embryonic stem-cell research (while leaving the door conspicuously open to cloning human embryos in the cause of scientific research), Barack Obama has once again shown his priorities when it comes to protecting nascent human life. Obama's soothing speech aside, it's time for Christians to understand that we are dealing with a pro-abortion ideologue.

Cross and Resurrection

Without the Cross, there is no Resurrection.

Reset

The Obama administration is not off to a great start in our relations with Russia. First, the president's "secret" letter offering to trade missile defense for Europe in exchange for help keeping nukes out of Iran became exposed. (Wonder how the Europeans who supposedly love Obama feel about that bargain?)

Second, Hillary Clinton gave the Russian diplomat a "reset" button (implying that all the problems between the two countries were the result of the Bush administration?). Leaving aside for the moment the question of whether a reset button even makes sense in Russian culture, the "smartest woman in America" botched the job anyway: The word by the button turned out to be not "reset," but "overcharge."

It looks like what Team Obama needs is an "easy" button, not a reset button.

Bailouts

A Team Obama official says the FDIC may run out of money, so others wearing an "O" on their jerseys step forward with yet another bailout proposal ... for the FDIC. Meanwhile, a congressional committee evaluates an Obama plan to bail out people with bad mortgages and says the plan doesn't get to the heart of the matter, those homeowners who are "under water" (they owe more than their homes are worth).

Meanwhile, Obama himself is talking about ... healthcare, spouting off nonsensical statements that "every 30 seconds in America a company goes bankrupt because of high healthcare costs." That's almost as unreal as the statement that the so-called stimulus bill will create "or save" 4 million jobs (there's no way to count saved jobs).

One begins to get the idea that it's the administration and its daily plans that are "under water." At the very least, the president seems to be in over his head. Time to get a bucket, everyone, and do some real bailing.

Positively Negative

It's hard to be positive when you're positive that things are heading in a negative direction.

Gyrations

Remember how out of touch people thought Bush I was when he allegedly couldn't use a supermarket scanner? President Obama may be in the "out of touch" team picture.

Yesterday he said he wasn't concerned about the "gyrations" of the stock market. Well, nearly a third of my stock market wealth has evaporated since Obama was elected president. Because of the "gyrating" market, many have lost their jobs, many more have stopped spending, some have lost their homes, and all of us have lost some sleep over our investments and our imperiled retirements.

But not to worry: President Hope isn't losing any sleep over it. Of course, he has a guaranteed government pension and a free meal ticket for the rest of his life. Perhaps he ought to have some "skin in the game" too.

Credit

Some people say I don't give President Obama enough credit, so here goes. He may be doing a lousy job with the economy and the stock market, but with his policies pushing abortion and the destruction of human embryos, he's doing a fine job reigniting the culture wars.

President Hope

At what point do people start holding President Hope accountable for this economy? Team Obama is hoping they won't until after the recovery, which is sure to come. By then, of course, the government will have its hooks deeper into the banks, into healthcare, into the energy sector, into anything that matters. By then we will be a semi-socialist state, and the era of American exceptionalisnm will be over. You might as well call us the United States of France.