Rules for Living

No. 59: If you hate kids, don't be a teacher.

Bully Pulpiteers

OK, how did Karl Rove get another man of the cloth to say something offensive to remind people of the radicals surrounding and supporting Barack Obama-and in the voice of Louis Farrakhan, no less? These Republican masterminds must be stopped!

McClellan's Truth

If Scott McClellan is so interested in speaking truth to power, why didn't he do it when he actually had some power?

Rules for Living

No. 16: If you're a public figure, never mention Hitler in anything but a negative light.

One Child to No Child

China officials say that parents whose only child was killed in the May 12 quake may apply for an exemption to the country's one-child policy. Unless, of course, they are now too old or medically altered to do so. In those cases, it's a no-child policy.

Oil Solutions

Instead of brow-beating the oil companies for making a (gasp!) profit, our political leaders need to get serious about solutions. Here are three quick suggestions:

1. Strengthen the dollar;

2. Start drilling; and

3. Get going on mass transit.

Today.

Idoloclastic

A football player once asked, "If the Super Bowl is the ultimate, why do they play it every year?" I'd like to ask the same of American Idol. Do we really need a new "idol" every year? Here's one grouchy American in no mood to worship the latest pop star.

McCain's Problem

John McCain's problem against Barack Obama is that he is too: old, white, substantive, issue-oriented, serious, and familiar. That is probably an insurmountable obstacle with a shallow electorate that wants "change" above all.

Premortems

The more the media engage in premortems trying to shame Hillary Clinton into withdrawing from a race she has supposedly already lost, the more I think she'll fight to the bitter end.

Fair Game

Barack Obama is constantly telling the country what we cannot talk about. Now it's his wife. Responding to a Tennessee Republican ad critical of Michelle Obama's infamous comment that she became proud of her country for the first time in her adult life when people started voting for her husband, Obama said critics should "lay off" his wife.

Please. If she's out there campaigning for him, what she says or does is fair game for fair comment. She's a political figure now. Whether Barack Obama's skin is white, black, or whatever, I don't care. All I know is that he is extraordinarily thin-skinned.

Thirsty?

"If anyone thirsts," Jesus says, "let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, 'Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.'"

Are you thirsty?

Double Negative

Gay marriage is neither gay nor marriage. Talk amongst yourselves.

Edwards a Man of the People?

John Edwards has charm and a nice suthin' drawl, but I wonder whether he is really the key to opening the hearts of white working-class folks to Barack Obama. Somehow I don't think those $400 haircuts match the image Edwards is trying to portray.

57th State

The other day Barack Obama, perhaps punch-drunk from going toe to toe with Hillary Clinton for a bit too long, said he was glad to be in Oregon, the 57th state he had visited during the campaign, with one more to go. I just hope Sen. McCain doesn't make an issue of his soon-to-be opponent's youth and inexperience.

No Surprise

Myanmar's ruling junta cared nothing for the people before the cyclone, or they would not be the military dictatorship that they are. So why are we surprised by their regime-first behavior now?

A Clear Winner?

If Obama has so clearly won, why are so many Democrats and media talking heads calling for Clinton to get out of the race?

Burma's Thuggish Regime

This is just a hunch, but Burma's cyclone disaster, which has left tens of thousands of people dead, may claim another victim: the military junta ruling the country. The regime apparently chose not to warn citizens of the impending storm and is blocking international efforts to save lives and relieve suffering.

National disgust over the regime's nasty, secretive ways might finally well up into revolution that even the goons can't beat down. God sometimes uses natural disasters to judge the nations, and it would be fitting if Cyclone Nargis brought down the thugs repressing the Burmese people.

Elitest and Heartless

Hillary Clinton may indeed be pandering to voters like me who are struggling to pay for gas. But Barack Obama's answer-punish the oil companies for making money and encourage new technology (how you do that I'm not sure)-is no solution at all. In fact, it is a liberal's dream: Force the price of energy ever higher so people will have to use less. And I for one can't afford a new hybrid anyway.

Obama's approach is called social engineering, and it's elitest and heartless. Consumers need relief now. Providing a federal gas tax holiday may be largely symbolic, but it's a start. Perhaps more substance will follow the symbol.