Crumbling Rock

Last night the foul-mouthed Chris Rock was the voice of Hollywood's overhyped Oscar night. Seeing the video tribute to former emcee Johnny Carson reminded me how far the movie industry has fallen in my lifetime.

Prayer Works

If you believe that prayer works, then work at prayer.

Health

If you have your health, you don't have everything. But it's a start.

Relationships

Don't let short-term frustrations damage long-term relationships.

Present Joys

Don't let future wants dim your present joys.

Growing Old

You know you're growing old when your hair starts growing in strange colors, places, and angles.

Tape Test

If a supposed "friend" secretly taped 12 hours of your private conversations, would you come off as well as President Bush apparently has? The public Bush matches the private Bush. That's integrity.

Wead Memo

If Doug Wead calls, take a message.

Sleep Optional

You'll be surprised at what you can accomplish after a poor night's sleep.

Constantine

Why do people feel the need to go to a movie about hell like Constantine? Weren't the Abu Ghraib and beheading videos enough?

Double Standard

Ward Churchill (who called 9/11 victims "little Eichmanns") appears to be safe at the University of Colorado. Larry Summers (who suggested there might be innate differences between the sexes in math and science) is fighting for his professional life at Harvard. Is there any doubt about the liberal double standard on campus?

Confession

To err is human; to confess is prudent. Don't compound your sin by covering it up.

Character Witness

Michael Jackson has enlisted Kobe Bryant as a character witness. Is this a good idea? Aren't character witnesses supposed to have some character themselves?

Spiritual Health

Just as showing up at a health club won't get you in shape, so showing up at church by itself won't improve your spiritual health. But it's a start.

Fantasy and Reality

Baseball, like the other major sports, is a fantasy that deals in reality. Fans enjoy fantasizing about what it would be like to be out on the playing field, but the competition is supposed to be real. The revelation that many players have been taking steroids to enhance their performances and shatter many of baseball's cherished records undermines the foundation of reality that makes baseball interesting. If baseball doesn't get its act together, the national pastime may pass into the realm of professional wrestling.

AIDS Strain

A new, drug-resistant strain of HIV has been discovered in New York. A man who had it developed AIDS in only three months. Expect for cries to multiply that the government is not doing enough, and that we need to spend more money. Of course, the easiest way to avoid this scourge is to change one's behavior. I know, I know. That's heartless.

Financial Quiz

What is another name for a financial program that promises early participants more money than they put in, but which continually depends on new participants to pay off the people who are already in? Fraudbusters call it a Ponzi scheme. Government officials call it Social Security.

Junk Suits

Yesterday the Senate passed a bill aimed at curtailing junk lawsuits. Disappointed trial lawyers no doubt were planning their next step–a lawsuit.

Axis Turns

News item: North Korea, arguably the world's most oppressive and xenophobic country, has just announced it has nuclear weapons. Does anyone still doubt that the president was right in bringing the "axis of evil" to our attention?

Morphing Machiavelli

News item: Ian Wilmut, who cloned Dolly the sheep in 1996, has received permission to begin the "therapeutic" cloning of human embryos to extract stem cells for research before killing the embryos. I guess society has decided that the ends justify the means, after all.

Hardly Heartless

First, W. was a profligate spender because he wouldn't cut the budget. Now he is heartless because he proposes trimming annual federal spending by about 1 percent–to $2.57 trillion. I'll take heartless.

One-Man Show

Kudos to the Patriots for staking their claim to an NFL dynasty, but Eagles receiver Terrell Owens should have won the MVP award. Playing on a bum ankle and running routes for a quarterback who was playing like a chicken with his head cut off, Owens almost single-handidly kept his team in the game.

Commercial Bowl

Remember when the Super Bowl was about football? Now most of the pregame buzz is about the commericials.

Forever Stupid

News item: The University of Colorado professor who likened the 3,000 victims of the September 11 terror attacks to "little Eichmanns" has refused to apologize–thus illustrating the old adage: "Sin can be forgiven, but stupid is forever."

Mature Silence

One sign of maturity is not telling people everything you're thinking.

Uncle George

The minority party is really back on its heels now. Those weren't jeers you were hearing when the president discussed saving Social Security. It was the sound of beaten-down Democrats crying, "Uncle!"

Toy Story

Seems that Muslim terrorists are now holding a G.I. Joe doll hostage. Expect another statement from Teddy Kennedy calling for the withdrawal of all toys from Iraq.

Bush Memo

Memo to President Bush: When discussing Iraq during your State of the Union address, resist the urge to say, "Nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah!"